Children are usually on the receiving end of any divorce, and feeling abandoned can create angry kids after divorce.
A divorce usually turns the world of a child upside down and no one asks the permission of the child before a divorce. In a child’s mind, a marital separation implies that one parent is leaving. Divorce can be subtle, but it can have a lasting effect if you don’t observe the signs and act wisely.
Some useful tips for learning how a single parent can deal with angry kids after divorce
1. Do not lie to your child – be honest
Do not lie to your child. It’s no use trying to convince your child that their dad is out of town. Your child knows more than you think. Do not forget that your kids live in the same house, where all the pain, fights and struggles go on.
Rather than tell white lies, honestly say, “Dad and I are going through a difficult time, and so he travelled to have some thoughts. However, he will take care of you and will always be there when you need him.”
Do not use your child as a weapon of any sort. Even the trickiest way to insult a parent who has moved home is nothing but an insult. Reassure the child that both of you will do everything possible to make sure that the child never lacks anything.
2. Don’t assume that your child is doing okay.
Pay attention to the signs. Anger is acceptable and even necessary. The child needs to understand and believe that he has the right to be angry. You’ll need to allow for more explosions than normal situations, but be on the lookout for other danger warnings.
If the child begins to act violently, intervene immediately. Kids need consistency, so enforce your rules.
3. Don’t try to manipulate the situation
Kids are very smart and will use any trick in the book to have their way. They will quickly notice how easy it is for you to give up when they make you feel guilty.
4. Be there for your child
Do not use this time for your own benefit only. Your child needs your time and you should be aware of what is happening to him or her. Play with your child, go to their school events, and be the best parent you can be.
5. Allow your child to spend enough time with your ex.
It’s a selfish decision to punish your ex by keeping the kids away. Some people make up any excuse to prevent their child from spending time with the other parent, and to keep them away from the other partner for as long as possible. No matter what you think about your ex, as a single parent, don’t forget that the child needs them just the same way they need you.
6. Be flexible
This is not the time to get choosy about special events. Birthdays may have to wait and you may have to celebrate Christmas on the 26th. Your kids will now have two families, so as a single parent, have this in mind when planning the holidays.